Walking Through her Silhouettes

Bernice Cheo

`Independent

`Nostalgic

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

People are too caught up with their lives.

As if I am not.


They chase after blank papers, all in black and white.

While I choose to write my words on a fallen wooden block.

Let them shred their papers, let them bury their emotions into the dirt.


Save my wooden block.

Let it rot, let it rot.

Let it fertile my barren thoughts.

Friday, June 05, 2009

A myriad of emotions.

For the past 72 hours,

I Laughed Out Loud.
I had a fair share of laughter with my beloved friends, sisters and 1 brother. Literally, we gossiped, we shopped, we ate heartily, we teased each other like crazy and we shared lots of secrets!

I Cried Out Loud.
I lost control. I lost my sense of balance. I lost my senses.

I was filled with Angst.
One moment I felt so trapped and claustrophobic. I got so worried and tensed up because I did not know what to do next. I got so disgusted with myself. (Dear Sarah, we should be blood-related).

I felt Damn Awkward.
I am thinking too much. I am expecting too much and I took a wrong step.

I felt a sudden surge of Emptiness.
I am not myself because I am accomodating things that are clearly not pleasing to me.

I felt Embarrassed.
All thanks to Maryse , Bimbo and the other podium buds, I did a ballerina turn and I squawked like a chicken at Settlers’. Nevertheless, I had lots of fun.

Precisely This Moment,
I want to laugh crazily, I want to cry my eyes out, I want to scream and be really angry, I want to be left in solitude, and I want to be insane...

Monday, June 01, 2009


"Our greatest pretences are built up not to hide the evil and the ugly in us, but our emptiness. The hardest thing to hide is something that is not there. "

~Eric Hoffer, Passionate State of Mind, 1955








Claustrophobic.
I just feel like crying.
I just hate to fit in.
I hate my altered ego.